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Wednesday, 20 May 2009

  • emotions

    are out of their place
    I want someone to talk to but there is no one right now
    I really wish I had someone to talk to. Last night I was on my feet for 13 hours and I had just 4 hours of sleep to get me through the day. Today I listened to a song from the arctic monkeys and I almost cried. I was up on my roof with my friend brian and the sky was bright. I need to finish a research paper and I really want to go away. it seems like the world is leaving me behind in a cruel way because my relations with people are deteriorating and I don't know what to do. I'm gonna go to my room now and wish that someone was there with me so I can cry, then be comforted by the touch of a warm hand instead of having to substitute a friend for a pillow.

Monday, 04 May 2009

  • someday

    I think it's odd but it feels natural in an artificial sort of way. I feel like an off version of a princess waiting for a prince. I'm not up in a tower but I'm on an island. I don't have long hair form which to climb up but I do have a ladder that takes me to the roof of my house often. I don't have a voice that will attract animals to help me clean my house but I do have sisters who don't make cleaning the house easier because they leave their clothes and dishes everywhere XP. Even though its such an off shot, I still feel like a princess waiting for my prince. I'm terribly shy and I try to reach out and search for my partner but things aren't working. I've decided to take a different path to finding my special someone and it's to improve who I am, send out as many signals as I can that I am "here" and hopefully someone will receive my invitation and maybe that person will be the one.

    Oh and I'm not saying that I'm limiting the prince to be only a guy, my invitations will go out to everyone (within my age prefferences.)

Friday, 01 May 2009

  • I get lost

    I hung out with a few friends today. It was really fun. I spent like thirty minutes on my hair and a year ago I'd never thought I would be doing that kinda stuff. I feel like I look good when I spend a long time on my hair and do a pretty good job. But anyways, back to hanging out. We went to the thrift store and I bought a few things. I want to get new clothing so I could dress up visual kei style ^-^

    We went to the park and I got to meet one of john's friends. He's really cool and looks like he would do well with parkour. But man, tag was so exhausting I had a tough time trying to catch people but I enjoyed running away. I have to drive to work in like 40 minutes so then I'll get breakfast now. 

    I gotta go make myself break fast and I won't be able to hang out with my friends so much this weekend because I need to get alot of studying done.

    There is this person who I have a crush on although my hopes of having a relationship with this person have diminished. It felt so weird. Lately whenever I see this person I shy away and not make eye contact. I don't want the person to think I'm cold or that I have feelings of dislike but it just feels weird. 


Thursday, 09 April 2009

  • I wonder

    does believing in a god help you go through your day better than if someone didn't believe in a god?

    If the religion promotes healthy life choices then that's good but then what about openness to ideas of other religions?
    Is it the religion that is to be blamed or is it the practitioners of the religion if someone is harmed in the name of "God?"

    One could argue that it is the practitioner who is to be blamed for the harm but doesn't the practitioner live by their religion and that religion? Then there are the teachers of the religion.

    I know that to get something good in life something must be sacrificed. I was once asked to make a crown of thorns and I was questioning my instructor. I spoke out to the instructor and said that "If we made a crown of thorns we'd most likely get cuts, you're telling us to cut ourselves?" I was taught to never purposely harm myself and that to harm a creation of God was a sin and my religious instructor was telling me that sacrifices should be made and that Jesus had sacrificed himself for us, the least we could do was sacrifice for our religion. Maybe he's right, maybe he's wrong. It's hard for me to tell.

    If it is correct to sacrifice one's self for religion how far is too far? Maybe I'm just being biased and thinking about the Muslim extremists and the suicide bombers only. If that is the case then I should research more on Muslim culture. When I get the time to I think I shall check it out.

Wednesday, 08 April 2009

  • rooting for your friends

    how much can you help your friends by rooting for them? Just believing in them. That they could do their best and achieve what they have been pursuing. Sometimes I just want to yell "GOOD LUCK!" to my friends but then it just turns into a less energetic wish but still I try with all my heart to let my friends feel that I really believe in them. And in the end if they don't get what they want I'll do my best to help them feel better about it.

    I've been swimming alot lately and I'm trying to build a better breathing technique. I'm getting better, I know I am but sometimes when my head is in the water and I feel my legs slowly sinking to the floor of the pool it gets hard having to constantly think about all the important swimming techniques. Don't lift your head, roll to where your mouth is out of the water, keep your legs up and break the surface, put your arms up over your body and then when it hits the water push with your arms, oh and relax. XP it's hard stuff. I just wish I could doggy paddle, it's so much easier and funner, even though I couldn't win any swimming races for it ^^;;

    Well so long and thanks for stopping by!

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